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Header meaning: “Get Off the Couch!”
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You don't have to stay in therapy forever (“On the couch”) to improve your life.
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Get up and do something enjoyable and meaningful in your life!
Issue # 1 of Ezine of Marcus Piper, MS, LCPC
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Offices in Maryville and Alton, IL
618-210-2039
Email me: MPiperLCPC@Gmail.com
Contact Information
Services Provided
How Counseling Can Help You
Resources for Therapists
Therapists' Books
http://www.MarcusAPiper.com/
This is a “dual opt-in” newsletter. To subscribe, you must complete the sign up form on my web page, and an email will arrive that asks you to confirm your subscription. You can easily unsubscribe at any time. I WILL NOT share your email address with anyone else.
If someone forwarded this EZine to you, and you would like to subscribe, go to this link:
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This is the inaugural issue of the “Get Off the Couch!” Ezine. As
with all of my projects, it is a work in progress (“Progress...not
perfection.”). My goal is to provide helpful, informative content
regarding mental health topics. I'll likely add some content regarding
some of my other interests, such as computers Go to "Computer
Corner"and digital photography. I want to provide information that is
useful to the readers.
Please send me feedback regarding any questions, comments, or
topics you would like me to address, at MPiperLCPC@Gmail.com.
Positive Psychology
or
The Science of Happiness
“..that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”
Traditionally, the field of psychology has focused on pathology, or how and why people experience emotional problems. The spotlight has been on Mental Illness, not Mental Health.
Many psychology researchers and writers also focus on what makes people happy, content, and fulfilled. I believe it is more effective to aim for what you want, (happiness, contentment, fulfillment) than what we want to avoid (being unhappy, discontent, unfulfilled). Try this:
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For the next few minutes, try to NOT be unhappy, discontent, unfulfilled.
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For the next few minutes, think of one thing that makes you happy, content, and fulfilled. Do one small thing now that creates this for you.
Its much easier to figure out how to DO something than NOT DO something.
So, what are these Positive Psychology researchers discovering about happiness, contentment, fulfillment?
The Beatles: “Can't Buy Me Love”
I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright
I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright
'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love
Or Happiness!
“If I could only win the Lottery, I'd be happy.” Research indicates this isn't true.
Psychologist Ben Dean, in a newsletter about happiness, states “even the effects of winning the ultimate unlikely jackpot--the lottery--are fleeting (Brickman, Coaes, &Janoff-Bulmna, 1978). The first $40,000, of course, does buy happiness. Moving from zero--a street person with no resources--to $25,000, for example has a huge impact on life satisfaction. But after a certain point, there is virtually no effect.”
Dean further states that “Economist Richard Easterlin's large-scale surveys of nations and individuals indicate that as people grow richer they do NOT grow happier (provided that they did not start off below the poverty line).”
Thirty-seven percent of the people on Forbes' list of Wealthiest Americans are less happy than the average American.
Why doesn't money buy happiness?
Because of the “hedonic treadmill”. (Hedonism: the pursuit of pleasure.) The “hedonic treadmill” describes the phenomenona of a person returning to their previous happiness set point. You get a short rush of happiness, then “the thrill is gone”. You return to near your previous level of happiness. So as the U.S. Citizens' buying power has increased (it has doubled in the last thirty years), happiness levels have remained stable. “Continued pleasures wear off. . . . Pleasure is always contingent upon change and disappears with continuous satisfaction.” Nico Frijda (1988)
Psychologist Ed Diener, who studies happiness at the University of Illinois, states “the relation between income and happiness is intricate. Although money is not on average a major source of the individual differences in well-being in wealthier nations, it can make a substantial difference in poor societies where basic needs are not fully met. Materialism, valuing money more than other things such as relationships, is usually a negative predictor of well-being. However, wealthy nations are considerably happier than very poor societies, although people in very poor cultures can be happy if their basic needs are met. Nevertheless, once a person reaches a moderate income level, further increases do little to increase happiness. Why? Because as people climb the ladder of success they mostly compare themselves with those who are at or above their current level. By "counting our blessings" when we compare ourselves with those less fortunate, we can, however, increase our satisfaction. As comparing ourselves with those better-off creates envy, so comparing ourselves with those less well-off boosts contentment.”
Happiness, then, is relative. Which set of Jones you are trying to keep up with effects your satisfaction and happiness with your current conditions.
As a child, my family had no running water until I was 9 years old. What a thrill! The first telephone I remember was a large wooden box on the kitchen wall. After we got a real rotary phone, everyone had a party line until I was 18. Our black and white TV got channels 4, 5, 11, 9, and later 30. But sometimes you had to draw straws to see who would stand and hold the “rabbit ears” antenna to get fuzzy reception. I don't derive happiness from running water and no outhouse. I get honked off when my small cell phone, that I carry on my belt, drops a call. If the cable gets knocked out, I complain, and put in a DVD. My last raise and bonus payments were wonderful, but I'm not significantly happier than I was last year. (Well, actually I am, but it is more due to having a meaningful goal I'm pursuing, building a full time private practice and being my own boss. Now that's thrilling!)
So maybe its “location, location, location”? Are people in more favorable climates happier than people in less favorable climates? Research says they are not. Hard to believe when its 100 degrees and near 100% humidity in St. Louis (but true).
Is it positive events occurring in our lives?
Yes and no. There is the short term boost, followed by a return to near our previous level. Research has found, for example, that people who become blind or paralyzed usually recover near-normal levels of day-to-day happiness. Research does show that some negative events are more likely to have a lasting negative impact. Death of a child or spouse are two such events. Humans are remarkably resilient. They can, and do, bounce back from adversity.
Ed Diener concludes that “the statement that“Happiness is a process, not a
place,” seems to be accurate. This does not mean that our circumstances
have no influence whatsoever on our happiness; they do. Rather it means
that we should not rely on circumstances alone to give us long-term
feelings of well-being. Continued involvement in new goals, meaningful
social interactions, and interesting activities is required to maintain a
flourishing sense of happiness (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, & Schkade, in
press).”
What does contribute to happiness?
Here's what research shows is related to happiness:
* Marriage (but a satisfying marriage.)
* Optimism: a belief that circumstances will improve. You can learn to be
more optimistic. See Seligman's book Learned Optimism
* High self-esteem.
* Being outgoing.
* Having close friendships.
* Having work and leisure that engages their skills. Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi (1990; pronounced chick-SENT-me-hi) and his
colleagues discovered this.
Csikszentmihalyi describes this in his book, Flow. People were paged at
random times and asked to document what they were doing at the time,
and the degree to which they experienced happiness or contentment at that
moment. People who were engaged in an absorbing activity had higher
scores. They were engaged in activities they could get lost in, losing track
of time.
* Having a meaningful religious faith.
Factors NOT related to happiness are:
* Money: after a certain level is attained
* Age
* Race
* Gender
* Educational level
* Parenthood (having or not having children)
The factors related to happiness are things that you can change. (So
why not begin to change them now?) You may not be able to achieve
the peak of these characteristics, but you can improve in these areas.
Instead, we spend our time and efforts attempting to improve in areas that
won't lead to lasting happiness, contentment, and fulfillment.
Wishing you happiness and fulfillment;
Marcus Piper
Resources:
Seligman, Martin E.P., Authentic Happiness, Free Press, New York, 2002.
Dean, Ben, Mentor Coach Newsletter, “Predicting Happiness
(Is Like Trying to Predict the Weather)”, Website: http://www.mentorcoach.com/
Diener, Ed, Website Ed Diener's Homepage, “Contributions of the Ed Diener Laboratory to The Study of Happiness", http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~ediener/
Satisfaction with Life Scale
The SWLS is a short, 5-item instrument designed to measure global cognitive judgments of one's lives. The scale usually requires only about one minute of respondent time. The scale is not copyrighted, and can be used without charge and without permission by all professionals (researchers and practitioners). The scale takes about one minute to complete, and is in the public domain. A description of psychometric properties of the scale can be found in Pavot and Diener, 1993 Psychological Assessment.
Survey Form
Below are five statements that you may agree or disagree with. Using the 1 - 7 scale below indicate your agreement with each item by placing the appropriate number on the line preceding that item. Please be open and honest in your responding.
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____ In most ways my life is close to my ideal.
____ The conditions of my life are excellent.
____ I am satisfied with my life.
____ So far I have gotten the important things I want in life.
____ If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.
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35 - 31 Extremely satisfied
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26 - 30 Satisfied
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21 - 25 Slightly satisfied
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20 Neutral
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15 - 19 Slightly dissatisfied
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10 - 14 Dissatisfied
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5 - 9 Extremely dissatisfied
Review of the Satisfaction With Life Scale
By William Pavot and Ed Diener
Abstract
The Satisfaction With Life Scale (SWLS) was developed to assess satisfaction with the respondent's life as a whole. The scale does not assess satisfaction with life domains such as health or finances but allows subjects to integrate and weight these domains in whatever way they choose. Normative data are presented for the scale, which shows good convergent validity with other scales and with other types of assessments of subjective well-being (e.g., 54 for 4 years), yet the SWLS has shown sufficient sensitivity to be potentially valuable to detect change in life satisfaction during the course of clinical intervention. Further, the scale shows discriminant validity from emotional well-being measures. The SWLS is recommended as a complement to scales that focus on psychopathology or emotional well-being because it assesses an individual's conscious evaluative judgment of his or her life by using the person's own criteria.
Psychological Assessment Vol.5 No.2 164-172 1993
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Books Regarding Happiness and Positive Psychology
Here are some excellent books related to how to improve your happiness and contentment Reviews from Amazon.com consumer reviewers. (Click on titles below to view books):
Flow: Mikaly Csikszentmihalyi
Let's say you just stop doing something, and you realize that you were COMPLETELY engrossed in whatever you were doing. You stop for a minute, and think, woah, what the heck just happened?
It happens to everyone, but at Dr. C points out, to some more than other.
The task...
Must have your complete and undivided attention:
1. By having your skills adequate to presented challenges
2. By having clear goals (expectations) of achievement
3. By having immediate feedback of action to task
Learned Optimism: Martin Seligman
He includes tests for you and your child--whose achievement may be related more to his or her level of optimism/pessimism than ability. The final chapters teach the skills of changing from pessimism to optimism, with worksheet pages to guide you and your child.
Authentic Happiness: Martin Seligman
= HAPPINESS =
This book mainly deals with the phenomenon of happiness. According to Seligman your enduring level op happiness results from three factors: 1) your SET RANGE ( the basic biologically determined range within which your happiness normally will be), 2) the CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR LIFE (some conditions - like being married and living in a democratic country- somehow seem to contribute to happiness, and 3) your VOLUNTARY CONTROL ( the things you can do to get your happiness to the upper part of your set range. Ok, then how to get this done? Before answering this question Seligman explains that happiness/positive emotion can refer to three domains: the PAST (satisfaction, contentment, fulfillment, pride and serenity), the PRESENT (joy, ecstasy, calm, zest, ebullience, pleasure and flow) and the FUTURE (optimism, hope faith, trust). Then the author comes up with suggestions to improve your happiness:
= HOW TO INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS =
1) to be happier about your past, you need to: 1) let go of the false belief that your past negative experiences determine your present and future, 2) increase your gratitude about the good things in your past and 3) learn how to forgive past wrongs.
2) to be happier in your present, you need to distinguish between PLEASURES and GRATIFICATIONS. Pleasures are delights that have clear sensory and strong emotional components that require little if any thinking. Gratifications are flow-experiences. They are activities we very much like doing but that are not necessarily accompanied by any raw feelings at all. The gratifications last longer than the pleasures and they are under girded by our strengths and virtues. The key to happiness in past and future lies in enhancing gratifications.
3) to be happier about your future, you need to change your explanatory style in order to become more optimistic and hopeful (for an explanation read my review of Seligman's book LEARNED OPTIMISM).
= AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS BY USING YOUR STRENGTHS =
These explanations imply what Seligman means by AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS. He says we should not rely on shortcuts like television watching, chocolate eating, loveless sex, and buying things to feel happy. He explains that positive emotion alienated from the exercise of character leads to emptiness, to inauthenticity, and to depression. So we want to feel like we deserved our positive feelings. That's why Seligman says AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS comes from identifying and cultivating your most fundamental strengths (so-called SIGNATURE STRENGTHS) and using them everyday in work, love, play, and parenting. This message reminds of the one in Csikszentmihalyi's FINDING FLOW
= CORE VIRTUES AND STRENGTHS =
Psychology has devised a classification system (language) for describing abnormal behavior and mental diseases. But it lacked a language describing human effectiveness and sanity. That is why Seligman and a team of scholars researched sources from all kinds of cultures and times in history and found that there is a strong convergence in what these traditions consider to be virtues and strengths. This led to the formulation ofa classification system of virtues and strengths. SIX CORE VIRTUES: 1) Wisdom and knowledge, 2) courage, 3) Love and humanity, 4) Justice, 5) Temperance, 6) Spirituality and transcendence. Further they identified 24 strengths corresponding to these virtues. This book contains definitions of this taxonomy and some questionnaires for the reader to complete (the questionnaires can be found on the web too, by the way).
Excellent FREE tests on Seligman's website, Authentichappiness.org This includes the “VIA Signature Strengths Test”.
Martin Seligman: What You Can Change and What You Can't : The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement Learning to Accept Who You Are
It is extremely readable, instructive and down to earth. He addresses the current state of treatment for: Anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, obsessions, depression, anger, post-traumatic stress, sex, dieting, alcohol.
David G. Myers: Pursuit of Happiness
This is one of the best books on the subject of happiness. It is a serious book written based on fact (backed up by research) and not fluff. When I say fluff I'm referring to all those books with the authors personal claim to 100 ways to happiness. In this book the bibliography is 40 pages alone, with about 520 books or articles used as reference. 520! You can see that there has been a great deal of hard-core research done.
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Computer Corner
Link to computer resources on my website
This newsletter was written with “OpenOffice”
OpenOffice; FREE! Microsoft Office Clone
OpenOffice is an Open Source(FREE!) office suite, similar to Microsoft Office. Will open and edit Office documents. Its my primary office suite at home.
Did I mention that its FREE!?
Does your computer have spyware?
(Spyware: A general term for a program that surreptitiously monitors your actions. While they are sometimes sinister, like a remote control program used by a hacker, software companies have been known to use Spyware to gather data about customers. The practice is generally frowned upon. )
See Computer Resources page on my website for FREE spyware removal program.
Marcus Piper, MS, LCPC
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Offices in Maryville and Alton, IL
618-210-2039
Email me: MPiperLCPC@Gmail.com
Contact Information
Services Provided
How Counseling Can Help You
Resources for Therapists
Therapists' Books
http://www.MarcusAPiper.com/
Please send me feedback regarding any
questions, comments, or topics you would like me
to address,
at MPiperLCPC@Gmail.com.
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8/28/05 Follow-up To Issue # 1 of Ezine of Marcus Piper, MS, LCPC
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Offices in Maryville and Alton, IL
618-210-2039
http://MarcusAPiper.com/
Email me: MPiperLCPC@Gmail.com
Contact Information
Services Provided
How Counseling Can Help You
Resources for Therapists
Therapists' Books
If someone forwarded this EZine to you, and you would like to subscribe, go to this link:
http://www.MarcusAPiper.com/
More about what research indicates is related to HAPPINESS:
Research indicated that a satisfying marriage (or other committed relationship) is a significant factor in feeling happy and fulfilled. My 17th anniversary was yesterday. Thanks so much for putting up with me all of these years! Luv ya Barb!
Researcher John Gottman has done extensive observational studies on relationships. He has found that negatives are present in satisfying relationships, but that positives are expressed in a 5 to 1 ratio. (Five positives for every negative). Satisfied couples have five positive interactions for every negative one. This 5 to 1 ratio also appears to be related to overall happiness; happy people focus more on the positives of life than the negatives. This isn't just the power of positive thinking, it is selectively paying more attention to what is positive in your life. It isn't ignoring negatives.
Here's some background on Gottman:
Dr. John Gottman
John Gottman, Ph.D., is well known for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, which involves study of emotions and physiology as well as communication. His break-through research on marriage and parenting has earned him numerous national and international awards, including four NIMH Research Scientist Awards. He is the author of 119 published academic articles and 36 books, including: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail...and How You Can Make Yours Last; and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child. He has been professor of psychology at the University of Washington since 1986 and founded the Family Research Laboratory (or what the media has termed "The Love Lab") where much of his on-going research on couples' interactions has been conducted.
Gottman found four styles of interrelating that cause significant damage to a relationship. He calls these the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." These styles are:
* Criticism
* Contempt
* Defensiveness
* Stone-walling: Stone-walling is shutting down from communicating. Men are more likely to do this (its initiated by men 85% of the time), and it is highly predictive of divorce.
Men, you gotta talk to the women in your life when there are problems. Being the strong, silent type will end your relationship!
Take Gottman's relationship quiz.
CLICK HERE
Read more about Gottman's work:
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work : A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert: John Gottman and Nan Silver
Review from Amazon.com:
A very reasonable as well as scientific approach to marriage. Many marriage-oriented books offer logical short-term band-aids (e.g., focusing on perceived Mars/Venus gender differences, communicating better, smoothing over conflicts) that make for a provocative read and/or admirable goals, but by and large fail in the long-run to resuscitate shaky marriages. Gottman creates a path for marital success via theories and exercises with an established track record for success. Many people wouldn't think that a fit marriage has to be exercised regularly, no less than one's body through regular workouts. Gottman's book serves as the ultimate guide to marital fitness, yet is a valuable read even if you are unmarried or have already experienced a failed marriage.
Good marriages don't necessarily have less conflicts than bad ones. Gottman gets under the surface and digs into such deeper issues as the maintaining of HONOR and RESPECT for your partner in the heat of all-too-common battles. Along the way he punches holes in a lot of marriage-counseling paradigms. In short, this book can improve a good marriage (or any similar commitment between two people), heal a salvageable one, or explain why a bad one got to or beyond the point of no return. Or even serve as a form of CRUCIAL pre-marital counseling.
I’ll be writing again soon.
Wishing you Joy, Gratitude, and Happiness!
(and great relationships!)
Marcus
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for future topics, send them to me at:
MPiperLCPC@Gmail.com
